So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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