uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
