I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
