id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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