i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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