I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
