Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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