What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I understand Curling. That high.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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