She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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