Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize