Kareoke will never be a sober sport
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
