naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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