i may or may not be watching the land before time
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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