I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
