How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
