he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
