it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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