I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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