I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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