I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize