You're like the curious george of whores
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
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