She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
