All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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