we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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