i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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