dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I've blown a few things in my day
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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