Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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