I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
