Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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