Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Your shirt... Was in my pants
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
