ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i already hear my dad disowning me
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
