I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Let's get the cat blown out
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
