The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Randomize