maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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