my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
