Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
