Apparently you make a good broom.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
