Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
