everyone is single if you try hard enough
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
