I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize