Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
