Betty ford says i'm here all night
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
