Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
