i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
