I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize