Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
