Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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