the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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