I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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