Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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