worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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