I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
