with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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