too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
