I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
