sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
