Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
