CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
