You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
